On colors…

You know how you look at wedding blogs and see people with cool themes like tea party, peacocks, new years day, breakfast at Tiffany’s, Disney fairytale, Nightmare before Christmas, etc… I always thought y wedding theme will be, well… Wedding! I never thought I needed a theme beyond that, oh dear internet was ready to prove me wrong.

When telling Mr. Toadstool about our wedding theme he agreed with me that it’ll be “wedding”, now we needed to pick a color palette, this if I intend our invites, decorations, table linens and BMs dresses to match, and my OCD orders me for things to match, so I guess we’ll pick colors.

Asking Mr. T about colors was [almost] painless. Although he looks the world like this:

Image via Break

…when I asked him about which colors should we use, he quickly answered Ivory and red (no, he didn’t say Ivory, I walked him through it), well I’m not a red, I’ve been in my fair share of white and red weddings already (way too many), and my wedding wasn’t going to be like that. Luckily his idea of red was actually a “dusty red” or “dark red” tone, which I slowly morphed into chocolate.

They’re similar right?/ Image by Miss Toadstool.

So I guess our palette is chocolate and Ivory. (Yaay..)

Now, I know we said we didn’t need a theme other than wedding, but having set colors inspired me. I’ve always been kind of obsessed with autumn (that’s right I rather call it autumn than fall, cause it sounds cooler). Living in a place with only 2 seasons I came to love the idea of changing foliage and warm colored trees, so that leaves us with:

Of course I’m not sticking to this palette, but it gives us a general idea of what we’re doing and doesn’t it look pretty? Besides it makes me feel all fancy to say “my wedding colors palette”.

How did you pick your colors? Was your FI involved?

On how my parents’ didn’t have a big wedding…

They did have a wedding, a small one but the legend says my mom told my dad she just wanted a house and honeymoon, no reception, just a small ceremony.

After my parents got engaged and decided they didn’t want a wedding my grandparents and uncles protested against the idea. They getting married was too much of a big deal to let it pass, just like that (so they say). Someone borrowed the place they used as a venue, my mom cooked the food, my uncles pitched in for alcohol, they were gifted their pro pictures (about 3) and every other picture is family taken, my mom borrowed every single piece of her bridal gown and didn’t decorate the church. It was the ultimate DIY wedding and even then my mom talks about it like it was something they did for everyone else, not them.

Image via No knows wedding

Well, when I started telling my parents about the wedding we want and the venue we already booked they were surprised. My mom stated she thought we weren’t going to have a wedding and my dad joked about my conception of a “small wedding”. All this came in the middle of sarcastic comments about the waste of money and how immature we were for it.

I’m going to be honest with you I was deeply hurt. I never expected my parents to be 100% supportive with this wedding but I though we were doing a good job keeping it real, so their waste of money statement was a low blow.

As I previously said I DO want a wedding (c’mon I’m blogging about it), I don’t intend to be Kate Middleton for a day here with an over the top celebration, but I want us joining our lives to be a big deal. I’m not settling with this wedding, this is the wedding I want, simple, small, us, but it’s sill too much in their eyes.

If Mr. Toadstool tells me right now we shouldn’t have a wedding I’d elope with him in a second, will I be sad? Probably but I’ll accept it cause it’s about us. I reached the point where I don’t care about anyone’s opinion but his’

All this reached its peak when in the middle of a wedding, marriage, looking-for-a-job-where-Mr.T-lives (so you’re moving in with him?) argument/confusion; they gave me the cold shoulder for almost a week, quite something if you consider we live in the same small house. We finally sat and talk about it and just like that everything changed, they’re now on board, they get excited about wedding stuff and even get involved in the planning.

Were your parents on board with the kind of wedding you wanted? How involved are they in the planning process?

Mexican traditions: Asking for her hand in marriage

Mr. Toadstool and I are adamant about doing this our way, which means we’re not going the traditional way with this wedding, but I thought it might be fun to review some wedding related traditions whether we’re following them or not.

We’ve all heard at least once about a groom asking for the bride’s hand in marriage. In some cultures the guy has a talk with the girl’s father and after getting his blessing he asks the girl to marry him.

Mexican custom comes from the tradition of arranged marriages, where the couple’s fathers or the head of the family makes the decision and agrees on the couple’s union.

The traditional thing is more a rehearsed play rather than a ritual, but it goes something like this:

The guy’s family (or at least he and his parents) go to the girls’ house where the guy’s father talks to the girl’s father about his son’s intention to marry the girl (following?).

They might talk about their plans for the future and how much the guy loves the girl and how’s he going to take care of her, yada yada…

From The five-year engagement. Image via Screenrant

After the girl’s father agrees, he has a talk with the intended groom about taking care of his daughter. All of this happens with everyone, including the intended bride, sitting there witnessing everything. At this point the guy’s allowed to exchange some words with the girl and finally ask her to marry him and give her the ring. The deal’s done.

For me this is one of those traditions people follows while not being entirely sure why is done that way. Mr. Toadstool and I often joke about this, you know how they say “Asking for her hand in marriage”? and that morphed into “asking for her hand”?, well this just morphed into an easy “asking for her” (which in Spanish is just one word), so it’s our inside joke that he’ll pay my dad the “bride price”, like two chickens and a cow, in order to marry me.

Image via Someecards

Some people consider it very important and can’t imagine it not taking place; some people do it just as a social requirement or as a chance to have some pictures to send to the local paper. I know of some couples who do this weeks before the wedding, –when they already have the wedding planned, what if her dad says no?!

It’s a nice tradition and I know for a fact some people really look forward to it (some of our friends asked to be at ours), but it’s not our thing, so is it really worth it if it has no meaning to us? For me, getting your ring as part of a “protocol” in front of everyone is not romantic at all (insert robotic ‘will you marry me?’ here).

Bottom line, we didn’t do it that way. We sat with our parents (one couple at a time) to tell them “we’re getting married” (notice there’s no question there, we’re doing it). We dealt with it our way and although they were not thrilled with our non-traditional way, they accepted it and realized that’s the way that worked for us.

I’d like to hear some other traditions? How did your fiancé/husband asked for your hand in marriage?

On how he proposed… part 2

I already told you about what I thought was THE proposal… well turns out Mr. Toadstool had a different idea*:

Once we started wedding planning I thought that was it. I was now getting married with my best friend and having a wedding (can you say YAAAY?), we already had a venue and life was great, or so I thought… turns out Mr. Toadstool had a different plan (dum dum duuuuum, that’s my scary sound).

It was Saturday October 1^st, I was feeling crappy and not pretty at all, and he decided we should go for a walk at the Nainari Lagoon (an artificial pond considered the town’s main “natural attraction”) are you serious?, on a Saturday? It’ll be packed!, but he insisted, so being the super sweet girlfriend I not-always am, gave up and went.

We were walking near the edge of the water and he was acting so odd I came to think he was mad about something, and suddenly he stopped.

Imagine this setting:

With this view (minus the moon, sadly it was a moonless night):

He handed me his cell phone and played a little slideshow he made with pictures of us. It remembered out time together (it’s been 8 yrs so there’s a lot to remember) and at the end of the slideshow it said: ‘After all these years there’s just one thing I need to know…’  I looked up and there he was holding a little box and saying: ‘I need to know if you’ll marry me’.

I couldn’t answer cause as you might expect I started crying (more like choking, but oh well). When I finally managed to say yes he put placed the ring on my finger, that of course after asking which finger it goes in.

And then… nothing, it was an awkward moment while we figured what to do next, luckily a considerate fire ant decided that was the perfect moment to bit the sole of my foot so I could jump around complaining for a while.

I was really shocked, most of the time I know when he’s plotting something so he can hardly surprise me. Once we got into a well lit spot I could get a good look of the ring and I was ecstatic, somehow he picked one of the settings I liked while internet-window-ring-shopping a few months back (come on don’t judge, I know we all have done it at least once).

I love this baby, you want to meet him? (yes it’s a he, who would have thought?)…

 *Looking back I realize he never actually asked me to marry him. Turns out he was very careful not to ask the actual question before the ring proposal.

On the venue we picked…

At the end of our one day journey looking at venues we sat down pondering pros and cons of the places we visited. We soon found ourselves praising one, while making up excuses about how the other ones were not right for us, the decision was made.

We went with our first choice “Hacienda los Agaves” this beautiful estate-like venue is located outside the city, what’ll mean a 10-15min drive for our guests, no biggie it’s totally worth it.

The place has a huge lawn: 

A pretty big gazebo with a small stage:

A beautiful pool (imagine it filled with candles):

You want to know the best part? There’s not just enough space for us to have the ceremony there, but we’ll get the ceremony staging (chairs and decoration) for free! This is a big deal given that ceremonies outside of church are not really a thing here, so it’s not common for venues to offer this.

I just love the entire place, in my mind it’ll need minimum decorations and it’s by far the best venue I’ve seen in this town AND it has a massive parking lot… score! Moreover (yes, better than the parking lot) it has a small room where I can put my dress on and get pictures (no venue in town will have a place for the bride to get ready) so it’s pretty darn great.

It might get cold (I mean it’ll be December after all), so we’re planning to have heaters mixed between the tables and some umbrellas to cover our guests from the dew, but it’ll depend on how the weather’s behaving that day.

The place is not exactly cheap, but when you compare it to some other [not even this pretty] options it’s really affordable. Mr. T and I came to call it our caprice; we both fell in love with the place and had to have our wedding there. What do you think?

 

What about you? Did you splurge in your venue?

*All Images via Hacienda los Agaves.

On how we looked for a venue…

One Saturday morning Mr. T and I put on our tennis shoes, hopped in the car and went to look at venues. After ruling out the places that were over our in existing budget (imagine how expensive they were) we ended up with four options:

Venue # 1:

This was a beautiful estate-like garden I found through facebook. It has a pool (beautiful enough to look pretty but not enough to become center of attention), grass (a lot of it), a big gazebo with a small stage, lots of parking and lots of details.

Good: It’s really affordable when compared with other venues, but it looked better than others and it’s so beautiful it’ll need minimum decoration. It has it’s own catering service and the package includes all table linen, glassware and plates.

Bad: You can only use their caterer. It’s 10km out of the city which shouldn’t be that big of a problem and will save us some crashers but because of the wedding’s in December it might be colder than the city.

Image via Hacienda los Agaves/ edited by Miss Toadstool

Venue # 2:

I spotted this venue cause its entrance’s on the road leading to my grandparents’ country house. It has a pool in the center of it all so it pretty much becomes the center of attention, it has a small garden but just as decoration, it has a big tent and a big stage and it has a huge parking lot.

Good: It’s extremely affordable. They recommend you a caterer

Bad: It’s too far away from the main road and the path leading to it is pretty bumpy and curvy. It doesn’t have a lot of space for tables. They recommend you not to use their caterer since it is pretty expensive but without a caterer it doesn’t include table linens or glassware. Being in the middle of almost nowhere it might be colder than the city. We’ll be having trouble accommodating a ceremony space there.

I have no pictures of this place. And since they don’t have facebook account or website, there’s no way I can get a picture for you.

Venue #3:

We passed this one on our way to venue #4 and decided to stop by.

It has a pool in a far corner of the place with a gate (which is good given the amount of little kids attending our wedding). It’s not a garden at all, it has tile floor everywhere, so other than a few pots with flowers, it doesn’t fulfill my desire for a garden.

Good: It has indoor lounge rooms for people wanting to rest from the music or cold weather. It’s big and looks really fancy. It’s inside the city and has tall walls which will be good if it’s a cold night.

Bad: It’ll need a lot of decoration, it doesn’t have a ceremony space, it’s pretty expensive compared with options #1&2. It’s not a garden. It has no parking lot. It’s basically a roofless ballroom.

Jardin Duland: Not really a garden, but very fancy. /
Image via Duland’s FB page. Edited by Miss Toadstool.

Venue #4:

A cousin happened to mention this one a few months back in a random conversation and we decided to give it a chance. It has grass everywhere (I was happy), a pool in a far corner (meaning it won’t be center of attention) and a big gazebo.

Good: It includes a DOC (no seriously he comes with the venue), it has wonderful lighting, a kids area, includes some decorations, it has great (and I mean GREAT) customer service. They have their own caterer including table linens and glassware and it has a mechanical bull.

Bad: The kids area is right next to the pool, which will cause some freaked out moms. They have animals in the back, so I’m a bit worried about the smell. You can only use their caterer. It doesn’t have a parking lot. Mr. T wants the mechanical bull.

Beautiful lighting.
Images via Jardines Santa Fe’s FB page. Edited by Miss Toadstool.

There’s so much to consider when looking at venues, and there’s so much variety in what they offer and their prices it was a bit overwhelming.

By the time we got home, after seeing only 4 venues we narrowed it down to 2: one was perfect, the other one was extremely affordable. After putting some food in our bellies and thinking about it we made our decision, in just one day we picked a venue (happy dance!).

Was venue hunting easy for you?

On how my mom lost her fear…

For you to understand this post I must explain a bit about my family…

Both my parents come from close families and we’re all used to being around each other a lot. I’m a first born so everything concerning me is new to my parents. Considering this I knew the idea of me leaving home… well, let’s say it unsettles them (this is one of the reasons we kept  the engagement a secret for a such a long time).

Mr. T and I have been together so long people often asked questions about when were we getting married, every time the question came up my mom would either change the subject or say something about it being too soon, while freaking out and telling everyone to shut up. I’m.not.kidding.

Imagine my reaction when one day out of the blue she told me she’s “Not afraid of me getting married anymore”. Wait, what?… oh, it’s like… what?

So yeah, apparently she was a tiny bit.. scared to death! at the idea of me getting married and going away from them, but, thanks to a lot of teasing and some real talk with my aunts she came to terms with the realization that this was happening sooner or later.

She claims her “fear” had nothing to do with Mr. Toadstool; she knows he’s a great guy and how much he loves me. So where does it come from? Getting old? Dealing with a child parting from you? Getting used to life changing? Who knows? (Seriously can someone find out and tell me, please?).

Me and Mom Toadstool. Personal picture.

A few weeks after this happened, when Mr. T and I broke the news, she just kept silent looking at the distance with watering eyes, she told Mr. T they already consider him part of the family but that although she knows this is the next step she wasn’t expecting it so soon.

Everything’s fine now, she and my dad are kind of involved in the planning process and I can openly talk to them about wedding and nesting (my mom has even gifted me some things for our place). I don’t know if they’re over it, but at least they’re ok with it now.

How normal it is for parents to freak over their child getting married?